


Never give frost giants coffee

by BindiTheSkunk



Category: Marvel, Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Alternate Universe - Everyone Lives/Nobody Dies, Funny, Goofy - Freeform, Jotunn Biology (Marvel), Light-Hearted, Loki (Marvel) Does What He Wants, Thor (Marvel) is Not Stupid, Thor (Marvel) is a Good Bro, Thor is so done, Tony Stark Does What He Wants, not meant to be taken seriously
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-08-06
Updated: 2019-08-06
Packaged: 2020-08-10 20:49:46
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,969
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20141785
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BindiTheSkunk/pseuds/BindiTheSkunk
Summary: Loki is given coffee...enough said





	Never give frost giants coffee

Tony Stark dragged himself into his kitchen, ready to have a good cup of coffee and wake up before heading back to his lab to work on his latest projects,underoos ripped his suit again and needed a new one( he should have noticed that lamp post......) looking inside the cupboard for his favorite Iron Man themed, red and gold cup with metallic finish, he spotted a green one with gold swirls next to it, it's owner obvious, the billionaire playboy smirked as an idea popped into his head, he reached in and grabbed the cup out.

Pouring some of the hot black liquid into it, Tony set it on the table ready for its owner to come in and grab it.

"Umm...what are you doing?" came a voice from behind him and turning around, he saw his best friend, Bruce Banner.

"Just a little prank on Reindeer games, a little wake-up call," Tony said grinning away thinking about the possible fun results of the trickster being hit with a jolt of caffeine.

Make the trickster run around like a headless chicken

Or just make him throw up...hopefully on nothing of Tony's

"Are you sure that is a good idea? we have no idea how he might react to it..." Bruce knew his friend had taken to playing his own pranks on the supposed master of tricks, which usually led to something of the philamperists being shredded to pieces or pink dye in his shampoo, but this? this could become very horrifying...

"it's just some java, he might loosen up and be fun for a change," Tony said grinning even wider, he needed to turn on all of the building's cameras, he did not want to miss a thing after the brew kicked in.

"And how are you going to explain why this was all set up for him?"

"just say Point Break wanted him to try it" 

"This will end badly...."

"You worry too much"  
\--  
Thor had walked into chaos

And not the fun kind

The kitchen was torn apart, the table had somehow been cracked in half and was flung against the wall, and eggshells were scattered across the floor, with egg insides being splattered all over the walls, ceiling, and floor and in the center of this unapologetic mess was his little brother who was covered in eggs, flour and wood pieces,his black hair now a mix of white and baby spit up yellow, trying to paint on the floor with the food items, a large and unnatural smile on his face.

"What in the name of Valhalla are you doing?! Have you gone insane again??" Thor walked forward and attempted to pull the magic-user to his feet to drag him to Bruce, hoping the 'jolly' green giant would be able to help, but Loki was having none of it and stayed firmly in place wanting to continue his drawings, Thor could have easily carried him out of the kitchen over his shoulder, but he would rather not deal with possibly being stabbed.

Again 

And he was in no mood to go searching for a rope

"I suppose Stark has something to do with your new ....state of mind" Thor concluded not really asking, the two had been playing exceedingly more bizarre pranks on each other ever since the Asgardians had moved in.

Thor knew Loki putting cough drops in all of Starks alcoholic drinks had been a bad idea...  
"Drink was awful...but it made me feel happy, happy, happy, happy!!!!" the trickster almost screeched in delight not even looking up from his 'art' on the floor, before he smashed both hands down into said mess causing an even bigger one, some of the goop even landing right on Thor's slippers.

Thor turned away from the scene rubbing his temples feeling a sudden ache in his head coming on, he had hoped the insanity could wait till at least noon, but no such luck, and at least he hoped this could be contained to the tower and not get out.

'Well, we should at least get-" Thor started, only to see Loki had moved from his spot on the floor and was now fiddling with something else that he found interesting.

"BROTHER WE DO NOT STICK OUR HANDS IN THE TOASTER!!!" 

\--  
After successfully duct-taping some oven mitts to his adoptive sibling's hands, so they did not wander into dangerous spaces again, Thor sat on the sofa pulling Loki into his lap and held him there for further safekeeping.

"Yay!! snuggles from big brother!!!" Loki exclaimed and the lightning wielder soon found his head encased in green fabric from a very awkward face hug, as much as outward affection was rare for the half-Jotun and for how much Thor enjoyed it when he got it and would normally be soaking it up, but, this was not a celebratory moment, he needed to keep his sibling out of trouble, which he undoubtedly would wander into even more so than usual in his ...whatever this was state.

"How about I turn it on that TV show you enjoy?" Thor suggested, hoping some television would distract Loki long enough for his high to wear off.

"TV!" was the rather loud response 

"Alright, let's see...." Thor turned on the television and searched for that one soap opera that his brother had taken to watching, he had no idea what the appeal was of it, every other girl was pregnant by the same guy who now was saying he was transsexual ,but it entertained Loki for a couple of hours and made sure those hours where pink hair and soap on the stairs free.

Thor watched the over-acted shlob on the screen for a while hoping he would not have to hold Loki like a fussy himogoblin much longer, since Loki was kicking his feet like a hyper child and he was wearing boots, Thor was not, and it was uncomfortable, to say the least, having heavy boots smack into his legs every five seconds.

"Brother! I am hungry! let's find something!" Loki shouted into his poor brothers ear making them ring and causing the headache he already had to be that much worse, Thor was seriously considering just hanging his sibling up wrapped in his cape outside on a tree till this idiocy wore off, but he doubted that would go over well with passers-by seeing a screeching and whining trickster god hanging from the branches on a caffeine high.

At least some food would help keep him quiet for a while 

Thor was forced to carry Loki into the kitchen fireman-style, as the trickster had seemingly decided that his legs did not work at that moment and set him in a chair praying that he would stay there and not go for the toaster again well the ax wielder searched for sustenance.

Thor found some cheerios and decided that they would do, for now, at least they would not make the state Loki was in worse and children often played with them, so they might also offer entertainment for the trickster.

"Alright, this should keep you happy for n-"

Loki had moved from his seat and had also decided to search the cupboards for food, and he found some...

In the form of a bag of marshmallows that his still oven mitt clad hands were trying to open

Marshmallows = SUGAR!!!!

Thor launched himself forward and snatched the bag from his sibling just as he was about to rip open the bag of the fluffy sugar cubes and threw it into the still open cereal cupboard with an audible smashing sound as the sugar puffs turned into pancakes, he was NOT about to deal with a Loki that was on a caffeine and a sugar high! he would sooner face Hela again!

Loki pouted but thankfully did not do anything drastic at the loss of his treats and went back to searching the cupboards for something else.

Thor quickly made up the cereal bowl and set it on the counter, since the table was still in it's broken state in the corner.

"Alright, here is some food for you" 

Why did he feel like he was caring for a dog? 

Loki quickly snatched the bowl up and stuck his entire face into the bowl and started slurping, spraying the contents all over the place including onto his clothes and hair.

Oh, that's why...

\---  
Tony Stark was having the time of his life

The billionaire was laughing his ass off, almost falling out of his chair, this was just too rich! Good thing he chose to press record on the camera system, so he could watch this comedy gold whenever he wanted, Tony wondered if he could upload it to Youtube, but decided that was a bad idea, considering it could easily be found by one of his friends, and he did not want to have to deal with an angry thunder god.

Well, deal with him again 

That had not been a good time

He swore his neck was still bruised on the inside ..

But this comedy gem was more than worth it, he would just keep the files locked up safely so neither Asgardian found out about it, well unless he needed blackmail material of course.  
"Oh man...this is a sight..." Bruce said from behind him looking a mix between disturbed and trying to not laugh himself, as against this as he was, he had to admit, it was sort of fun seeing the prideful alien in such a childish state, he did hope it would wear off soon, he did not want the entire complex to be torn to shreds because of a caffeine high...

And he was not sure how magic proof Tony's chair was for when the trickster sobered up and broke in.....

"H-He looks like a high chipmunk!" Tony cackled seeing how the tricksters cheeks where now puffed out from him trying to shove as much cereal as would fit into his mouth, which turned out to be a lot, he really did have a big mouth.

"I suppose he does a bit..." Bruce now had to hold a laugh at the image, how did Tony always manage to bring out his inner idiot? he needed to watch that.

\---  
Thor managed to find some more duct tape in the cupboards, after using the first role on the oven mitts and slipped the new roll onto his belt, just in case things got insane again, which considering how the day had gone so far, was VERY likely.

Loki was thankfully being calm at the moment, having finished the cheerios and was now contently slurping on his spoon as if he liked the metal taste, though it might taste different during his high who knows?

Thor was now torn, all that was in the fridge was juice, milk, and soda, he did not like milk and he was thirsty, sugar and the soda had sugar and caffeine in it, which meant if his brother snuck a sip, things could go right back to the way it was earlier.

He did not want to make an enemy of the toaster, he loved bagels after all.

Thor eventually chose to just get some water out of the sink in a styrofoam cup, just in case. He did not want to deal with cup shards everywhere, he had learned that Earth cups were not as sturdy as Asgardian ones when thrown down.

That proved to be a good move as no sooner then he had filled the cup he felt something collide with his face making him drop the cup to the floor making it bounce and spill water all over the floor and Thor's slippers 

"DIRECT HIT!" was the delighted response from the trickster 

"BROTHER!!!!"


End file.
